| Q. | Why should I send you some money? |
| A. | Why not? |
| Q. | Can I go to the movies tonight? |
| A. | Ask your mother. |
| Q. | Will you do good things with the money I send you? |
| A. | Define "good." |
| Q. | Where were you when I needed you? |
| A. | I was at Starbucks. |
| Q. | If I'm not satisfied with the way you're spending the money I send you, what should I do? |
| A. | Send me some more money. I'll try to do better next time. |
| Q. | Are you the Hank Mishkoff who promised to marry my sister but ran off with her Camaro instead? |
| A. | No. |
| Q. | Do you miss your water before your well runs dry? |
| A. | No. |
| Q. | Are you a charitable organization under the terms of section 501(c)(3) of the United State Internal Revenue Code? |
| A. | Gimme a break. |
| Q. | So, if all of your friends jumped off the Empire State Building, would you jump too? |
| A. | Yes. |
| Q. | If I send you more than $13,000 in a calendar year, do I have to pay gift tax? |
| A. | If you send me more than $13,000 in a calendar year, you should seek help from a qualified tax professional. And probably from other professionals as well. |
| Q. | What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? |
| A. | African or European? |
| Q. | What would the correct ignition timing be on a 1964 Bel Air Chevrolet with a 327 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor? |
| A. | Four degrees before top-dead-center. |
| Q. | Is that you in the corner? |
| A. | Yes, it is. |
| Q. | Why are we here? |
| A. | Where are you? |
| Q. | Who am I? |
| A. | You're the person who's going to send me some money. |
| Q. | Who's on first? |
| A. | Yes, he is. |
| Q. | To be, or not to be? |
| A. | Not to be. (Wait a minute, is that a question?) |
| Q. | Your money, or your life? |
| A. | Yes. |
| Q. | Is this great, or what? |
| A. | What. |
| Q. | Does this make me look fat? |
| A. | No. |
| Q. | Do you love me? |
| A. | Yes. |
| Q. | Heads or tails? |
| A. | Tails. |
| Q. | You want fries with that? |
| A. | Do you really have to ask? |
| Q. | Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? |
| A. | How old did you say you were? |
| Q. | What's all this, then? |
| A. | Mind the gap! |
[ Frequently Questioned Answers (FQA) ]
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